Wednesday, June 20, 2007

It's a wrap. Sorry, I will not be accepting bribes!

I know each of you have been sitting on the edge of your computer chairs each time you click on. Will she? Won't she? Will she? Won't she?

Well, here it is.

A story about The Power Bodywrap.

Pictures, you ask! Surely, you jest! They are carefully stored on my friend's camera. And knowing her, it is unlikely she even knows how to get them off the camera. Not mean, just true. Just ask her :)

And then you are probably asking why would you take pictures.

Um, good question!

So, P and I can hardly wait to pamper ourselves that day! We have only been talking about it for over 2 weeks prior.

Pampering might not be the right word for what we experienced. Torture is too strong, but you think of something in between and go with it!

Giddily we walk through the door not aware of what awaits us. Fill out obligatory paperwork and sign on dotted line that we agree to not hold them liable for anything. Ever. Meet Viet. Young, really muscular, really nice young man. Did I say young already? No seriously, he was totally professional and funny and if, after reading this, you decide you still want one for yourself then I highly recommend this place and him. Because if you are gonna have the junk, sweat, and money squeezed out of ya, you might as well have someone that can really put muscle into it!

Here is the progression:

* Talk about our body issues; areas we want most improvement.
* Undress down to undies and sports bra. You can also do a swimsuit. Put on luxurious robe and slippers. See, the pampering deception starts early!

And right here, many are saying, "you did what?!" But come on, do you not show just as much at the pool?

* Do a detox shooter.
* Viet takes our measurements and we take "before" pics.
* Wrap begins. Which means being tightly, tightly, tightly wrapped from toes to head in ace bandages soaked in some detox solution. There is comedy here that can't even come close to being shared via the Internet. There was wrapping around body parts, between body parts. There was major uplift in many places!
* Waddle to post-wrap room.
* Get sprayed down with more detox liquid.
* Get on the Gazelle to "relax" and pass the time watching a movie while gently moving on the machine. This was not about exercise but about keeping our circulation going since every major vein and artery had been significantly been compressed.
* More spraying, more moving.
* Unwrap ace bandages, get on robe and slippers.
* Get dressed.
* Get results and post-wrap instructions.
* Pay the bill. Thinking you should do that first!


I lost 16 3/8 inches. P lost 15+ inches.
I don't like to brag, but in case you couldn't tell just by admiring my body!

The Truth:

It is NOT, NOT a pampering experience. Please use your money for a great massage, mani, pedi, etc! You could do all three for the same price as one body wrap of this proportion.

It is NOT, NOT comfortable. In fact, P and I were both experiencing back pain from the posture we were wrapped in.

My theory is (and it is, just my theory) that if you are lucky enough to be someone with less, let's say, "junk in your trunk", then results might be more readily observed. Seriously, I do think that if you are skinnier than most, you will more than likely see good results. I did feel that my thighs looked slightly different and the cellulite was smoother. P did not feel like she saw any changes. Overall, not enough changes for either of us to warrant doing it again.

Everyone involved was polite and professional.

P and I decided that instead of regretting the experience too much, we would just remember all the great laughs we took from it! Cuz there ain't funny until you have seen your friend and yourself waddle around in a "body cast"!



angela said...

Oh man. So glad I found your blog this morning.
That was too funny. What a memory to share with a friend!
The imagery was fantastic.

Jennifer H. said...

No pictures?? That's okay . . . I got a great mental picture!! Haha!

Jennifer said...

How funny. Do you mind if I ask how much it cost? Is this something you have to do multiple times or just once?

Jenna said...

That does not sound like fun. I think I will opt out;-) How did your friend manage to take pictures when she was wrapped so tightly?