Friday, April 24, 2009

Not my kid!

This week, two of my sweet little bloggy friends have thrown out some confessionals. Confessionals that are not too far off from what swirls around in my brain from time to time.

Awhile back, I thought to myself, "Whose kid am I raising here?!!". It usually comes to mind when we are having a hard time around here, whether it be behavior or attitude. Or the combination of both!

I mean, come on, where are those sweet, kind, obedient, loving kids that I gave birth too? And that didn't talk back to me in the "goo goo ga ga" days?!!

So my dears, over at Sorta Crunchy and Mommy Cracked, I will join your club today.

I don't want you to feel alone!

I realize that most of this falls under the category of "Lazy Parenting", a trap I believe we fall into from time to time, despite our best intentions.

Take the whole tv thing first.

My daughter didn't even pay attention to tv until she was at least 18 months old. And that was just a Veggie Tales video from time to time. My son got hooked in a bit sooner since big sister had her cartoons I would let her watch as he toddled around. So now with #3 coming soon, I begin to worry what happens now.

I kept it under control and didn't worry much about it because my kids were so versatile. They had great play and social skills; they loved outside, inside, pretend, puzzles, games, you name it. And most of the time that they did have the tv on when younger, they rarely stayed tune for a long time. They were usually off to play before a show even finished. I maintain my support of no cable in bedrooms. I can't say tv anymore because we allowed a tv for movies only for the kids in sister's room since we don't have a play or family room for an extra tv anymore.

All that to say, as versatile as my kids still are, they love tv a little too much now. I have DVR now, so I could have taken much more control of this sooner. But I didn't. I slipped and I slid just enough too many times that they began enjoying shows that were not really on my favorite list. Not shows that were bad per say, but shows that were too mature for them.

Shows that allowed kids to sport an attitude that I really don't want to hear coming from my 7 and 4 year olds.

Nor do I want to hear my 4 year old say, "I am going to marry a hot super model.".


As a parent, if you let the little things slide for long enough, they turn into bigger issues. They make your job (and oh my does it feel like a job some days!) as a parent feel so burdensome. The whining, the disobedience, the laziness. It wears you down, but it is really your fault.

I am talking in general terms here with "your", but believe me, this is all about ME.

So, a couple of weeks ago, I finally got my act together.

I used my DVR to lock all the shows I was ready to see go away. Still a bit of the lazy way out, but I needed to ease into the situation without the battle. I am too tired for that battle right now. I also made sure that I kept a good number of shows recorded on my DVR that I do approve. Options I feel good about.

Then on Tuesday night, I had another revelation.

We were watching Week 7 of the Esther study. It wasn't my favorite of hers for the study, but she did share some things from a book that struck a cord with me. Along the lines of who we admire among the famous, the lengths that some go to in order to get close to "stars", who our young kids want to be like. I didn't like what I was hearing. Nothing that I didn't already know, just stuff that made my heart prickle a bit too much for comfort.

You see, I like keeping up with the who's and the what's. I will watch a "reality" show when I can and I certainly loved my Google reader for bringing me all the latest on Pop Sugar and Celebrity Baby everyday.

But, on Tuesday night, I left the study knowing that I was going to say good-bye to at least the latter two mentioned. Who knows what I supposed to walk away with that night, but it is what it is.

When I got home, I not only said good-bye to those two, but to several other blogs that just didn't work for me anymore. They could have stayed. There was nothing wrong with them. But it was taking me more time than I have to click over and "marked read" without even reading them. I was ready to keep it a little more real.

So, I keeping it real with 51 of you at this point! :)

For some that number may still seem huge, but I can't even tell you how freeing it is to open my reader to 35 posts rather than 75 posts (or something like that!) from day to day.

As for me and tv, well, I am doing a pretty good job of keeping my shows that I enjoy limited to what I DVR. They are there when I am ready to watch them and I can get through them quickly. I don't feel much guilt there.

Allllll that to say, here I am as imperfect as I know all of us are, but always difficult to admit to those that you think are more perfect than you!

There is more I need to say along the lines of an orderly home, obedience, and a willingness to be helpful, but I will save it for later.

Just know that I am looking to hire another 4.11 year old to help me out around here because mine informed me that he "quit".

Yes, his exact words along with his arms folded for emphasis really made my day!



texastanya said...

Sweet friend, I am SO TOTALLY WITH YOU! I even made the kids give up some of the kid shows that I liked because they picked up on the bad habits of the kids in the show.
I gave up some shows that I thought were funny and that made me laugh, but were not helpful for my walk with God.

Keep your chin up and remember Hebrews 12:1-3. These verses really helped me to focus my attention to where it needed to be...

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Mommy Cracked said...

Thank you!! Your post made me feel so much better. I'll always say that parenting, hands down, is the toughest job, but it's also the most rewarding. And like you, I'm realizing how literally wired (in the techy sense) our society is that everything from computers to the TV starts to drowned out real life and values. And how easy it is to fall into this trap. Good for you for unplugging a little bit. I seriously need to weed out my blogs that I read, too.

Anonymous said...

You make me hide my head in shame. I'm horrible about Wog and the TV... not so much the content as the amount. We don't have cable. so that helps a lot! It also helps with my TV. And the budget... it REALLY helps with the budget.

Oh and I totally drop CBB and PopSugar too. (And many, many more!) Good for you!

Cara said...

I totally get that TV thing. We're TV free, and video free for the kids, other than what they see that we're watching. Usually documentaries (we're kind of dorks). The TV thing was cemented when I babysat two elementary aged girls this past summer- the attitude! And then when I glanced at the TV when I was over at their house, I saw attitude-sporting little cartoon people. I feel old. But that's just not working for me.

Good for you :)