Tuesday, July 22, 2008

So True!

My friend Shannon passed this along to me via email and I loved it so much, I decided to share the joy.

Or the pain.

Depending upon the capabilities of your beloved!


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Summer Classes for Men
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Friday, August 17th 2008

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

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While these pictures don't exactly match the above mentioned classes, they are still proof that some things will never change.

How To Telepathically Get Trash In the Trash bag So You Don't Have To Physically Make The Effort When It Is Right Under Your Nose.



Or Two Steps Away


How To Use Less Than The Entire Kitchen Cabinet of Glasses In A 24-Hour Period.
(please refer to the 2 glasses above and the 1 below; the 2 little glasses belong to the kids.)



Please tell me I am not alone in my suffering?!

;) Stacey

6 comments:

Someone Being Me said...

You are not alone. When will they be offering a class on the difference between listening and hearing?

willblogforshoes said...

I'd like to sign someone up for Class #2... and can we go ahead and sign him up for the Intermediate and Advanced Toilet Paper Roll changing classes, too?... I think it's going to take some reinforcement.

texastanya said...

Hey, at least your glasses end up back in the kitchen. I find Hubby's glasses all over the house, with the exception of:

1. The glass he uses for water right before bedtime. It's always left on the kitchen island.

2. Any time he wakes up in the middle of the night, he gets a fresh glass (instead of using the one he left on the kitchen island) and then places it on the counter. If he wakes up twice to get water, there will be two glasses sitting right next to one another...

Cindy said...

LOL! You are so not alone. I can prove it by the smelly garbage in my garage that I finally had to put out there myself and yet my hubby has failed to take to the curb on trash day. Something about out of sight out of mind.... Dude! Doesn't your sniffer work?! LOL!

Meredith said...

Funny! We keep breaking our glasses, so I threaten to keep only 1 per person.

At least that way we'd all be forced to wash them ourselves!

Jennifer said...

Too funny, and too, too true!

Miss you too - I've been so far behind it's not even funny. But I'm trying to get caught up on reading all my favorite blogs and getting back into the blogging habit. But it's so hard...I have so much going on!

I'd LOVE to be able to come help you...sounds like tons of fun!

Hope you have a fabulous vacation!!